best funny joke...

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Warwick
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best funny joke...

Post by Warwick »

hi i always remember this joke and i am sharing it with you in my this post.

"A patron at a restaurant was continually bothering the waiter about the air conditioning: first he would ask for the air conditioning to be turned up because it was too hot, then he would ask it be turned down because it was to cold, this went on for about a half an hour. To the surprise of the rest of the customers, the waiter was very patient, walking aback and forth and very pleasant. So finally a customer asked; why donÔÇÖt you just throw out the pest? ÔÇ£Oh, I donÔÇÖt care,ÔÇØ said the waiter with a grin, we donÔÇÖt even have an air conditioner.ÔÇØ
Kodiak
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Re: best funny joke...

Post by Kodiak »

No offense but if that is the best joke you ever heard you must lead a pretty dismal life. :cry:

It's pretty bad.
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Re: best funny joke...

Post by dougeeebear »

One of my favorites:


In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight mini skirt was waiting for a bus.

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would be enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step.

Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip little more and again she still was unable to take the step .

About this time, a very large guy who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan And yelled, 'How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!' The Newfie smiled and drawled, 'Well, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends.
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MarcusMarcus
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Re: best funny joke...

Post by MarcusMarcus »

@Kodiak
+1

@dougeeebear
That's my new favorite
dougeeebear
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Re: best funny joke...

Post by dougeeebear »

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall,
and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:


"You got Male!"
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my02vr6
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Re: best funny joke...

Post by my02vr6 »

dougeeebear wrote:nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

"You got Male!"

Must be using Windows...
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TinyJWR
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Re: best funny joke...

Post by TinyJWR »

One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner.

He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist. He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle stroking then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned to do the same to her right thigh.

By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself.

The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed.

"Why are you stopping?" she whispered.

He whispered back, "I found the remote."
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Re: best funny joke...

Post by Farsquidge »

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Re: best funny joke...

Post by SHADO »

A little girl is sitting on Santa's lap, and Santa asks her what she would like for Christmas. And she says, "I want a Barbie, and a GI Joe". Santa, a bit perplexed by her request, replies, "But I thought Barbie comes with Ken". Little girl says, "Nope. She comes with GI Joe. She fakes it with Ken".
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Farsquidge
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Re: best funny joke...

Post by Farsquidge »

A friend of mine was saying a pal of his passed away recently.

He was a guy who would try any sort of weird remedy to stave off the inevitable.

Just before the end he even tried covering his back completely in lard.

He went downhill really fast after that.....
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mike101
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Re: best funny joke...

Post by mike101 »

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the

Night celebrating St Patrick's Day.


Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy'..


Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off...


He falls flat on his face. '*****' he says and pulls himself up by the

Stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls

Flat on his face,


'******, ****** !'


He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to

The door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door

And shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes

A deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto

The pavement and falls flat on his face.



'Bi'Jesus.... I'm p*ssed,' he says.



He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door,

Hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside... He

Takes a look up the stairs and says 'No f*****' way'. He crawls up the

Stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'. He takes

A step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says 'bu**ER it' and

Falls into bed.


The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into his room carrying a cup of

Coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night ?'


Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was ********' p*ssed. But how'd you know?'


'Mick phoned .. . . You left your wheelchair at the pub.'
venus
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Re: best funny joke...

Post by venus »

Nice jokes.
I really enjoyed it.
theconcept
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Re: best funny joke...

Post by theconcept »

lol i like the barbie gi joe one.
Kristen13
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Re: best funny joke...

Post by Kristen13 »

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?’
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