PHEW! *wipes sweat off brow and feels his bowels relax*
For a second there I thought I was going to be stuck with a $400 plastic and silicon paperweight...
Thankfully my brain was working through the night (it kept me up...) and I realized that the board might have a battery back up for the CMOS, which is really what I needed to reset.
Sure enough, this forum has proven it's value by having someone else share their knowledge:
How to reset CMOS: http://forum.archosfans.com/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=36306
How to open the unit: http://forum.archosfans.com/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=29872